Making Friends as an Adult: A Real Guide to Building a Meaningful Circle
The exact steps to find aligned friendships, stop forcing connections, and build a real circle even if you're starting from zero in a new city.
There’s a version of you that can only come alive in the right environment
but most people never meet her, because they stay surrounded by the wrong ones.
And no one really teaches you how to build that kind of environment
especially when you’ve just moved cities, changed direction,
or quietly outgrown the friendships that once made sense.
That was me when I moved to Amsterdam.
No safety net. No community.
It was humbling.
That’s when I learned one of the most important lessons of adulthood:
Your environment doesn’t just happen. You build it.
I didn’t want surface-level friendships.
I wanted alignment. Energy. Shared ambition.
So I made a rule:
I will pour into people who pour into me.
If it feels one-sided, performative, or emotionally heavy, it’s a no.
Because the truth is:
Your circle shapes your standards, your energy, your mindset
and ultimately, your future.
This isn’t about filling your calendar.
It’s about finding the people who match that vision.
So if you’ve been feeling stuck in friendships that no longer fit,
or unsure how to meet people who do, this is your blueprint.
🗂️ Here’s What We’re Covering
– What no one tells you about making friends in your 20s & 30s
– Where to actually find the right people in any city (with real AMS communities)
– The exact DM I sent that turned into one of my closest friendships
– Subtle mistakes that block genuine connections (and how to avoid them)
– What it really takes to go from surface chats to deep, lasting friendships